My Metaphors

I am a metaphor man. I love making metaphors and expanding them to mean a lot of different things. My most recent metaphor is about myself and my newly diagnosed case of ADHD. My metaphor went a little something like this:

I am like a bouncy ball. Generally when you get me moving I just bounce a few times and then who knows what direction I will deflect in. However if you were to tie that ball to a rubber band and attach that rubber band to a paddle you can control the awesome power inside to do great things. Or at least be entertained for a bit... :)

I love these things but I never was very good at them. I think I just didn't have the right amount of finesse to be a pro at it.

Action Names

A few weeks ago I challenged a friend of mine, named Camille, to a duel of whit. We decided to find all the people 's names we could think of that are also verbs. At first we only found three but upon more pondering about it we came up with a huge list of names that are also verbs. Here is the list we have so far. About half of them came from Estee after i told her about the game...firmly placing her in the lead. She is good at this game.

Mary - We are getting married.
Josh - Just joshing you. (as in joking)
Nick - He nicked me with the razor.
Bob - I bobbed for apples.
Phil - I will fill your glass.
Ralph - I think i am going to ralph after eating your lasagna.
Taylor - I got fat and now i have to tailor my pants.
Snoop - Stop snooping around my apartment, CREEPO!
DJ - I am djing the party tonight.
Joey or Joy - I am going to joy in your misery.
Barry - I will bury the hatchet.
Carey - I will carry your burdens.
Briggit - See that gap? you should bridge it.
Bear - I will bare my teeth.
Wade - I will wade through the waist deep water.
Sue - I am going to sue your butt.
Terry - Don't tarry here too long, you will get busted for loitering.
Chuck - I am going to chuck this old pizza out.
Tuck - Will you tuck me in to my bed tonight?
Buck - The horse bucked me off.
Jack - That dude just jacked my car!
Gage - It is hard to gauge how awesome i am.
Jet - i have to jet.
Tell - I am going to tell mom!
Rock - I will rock you!
Tan - I am going to tan the leather.
Cher - I will share my food with you.
Bill - Bill me later.
Rob - Don't rob the bank.
Huck - I hucked the log into the river.
Chip - I chipped the glass
Will - I will.

Honorable mention:
Pete - First i peated then RE-peated the third grade...eh? eh? i am hilarious!
Sire - I know it isn't a name but it is a title and it is a funny verb...look it up.

If you have anything to add to this list please feel free to comment i have had a lot of fun coming up with these with my friends.

The Fall

So today I ran my first half marathon ever. I haven't been in shape for the last 2 years of my life but, notwithstanding, last minute decided to run it with a friend of mine. At the very start she told me to feel free to leave her behind. Even though she was in better shape her legs are about half the length of mine. At around Mile 4 the marathon runners were split from the half-marathon runners. They had us "halfies" turn around and run back along the same road we had just run down only on the other side of the median so that no one tried to skip a few hundred yards to boost their time. As I am running I catch a glimpse of Estee and decide it would be a great idea to yell her name and wave. As i did so she heard and turned her head to look and wave back. Unfortunately the turning of her head coincided with her running into a sign. She narrowly missed hitting her head but tripped over the base and fell to the ground. Luckily she was alright but i can't help but smile and think about how this girl is straight out of the movie Pure Luck with Martin Short. It is a nineties film about a couple who are extremely accident prone and they lose each other because of accidents and end up finding each other by accident again. Its not a great movie but when you see it happen in real life it is pretty funny. I am sure you will see more blog entries about Estee's Antics. Anyways, the half marathon was fun. Definitely a good experience and I am glad i did it.

Who Says Boogers Never Strike the Same Place Twice?

The sound of someone flicking their fingers will forever haunt me. Not only is it painful when someone flicks your ear, but I had a fairly disturbing experience while i was in Ukraine that is related to it. I was paired up with another missionary and he was an interesting fellow. One morning I got out of the shower and was getting dressed in the room. Parr was still lounging in his bed and as I turned my back to him to grab something off the dresser I heard a flicking noise like someone was playing that little paper triangle football game. Almost simultaneously I felt a wet sensation on the back of my neck. When i went to wipe the wet from my neck i realized there was a nasty little green blob on me. I turned around to find Parr inspecting his finger to see if he dispersed of the booger he had just flicked. I am pretty sure i have not been so disgusted in my life as I was at that moment...no wait, a couple of weeks later when the exact same thing happened again was the moment when i was the most disgusted!! "Really Dude?!" I exclaimed, "You have assaulted me twice with boogers?! REALLY?!" Turns out he wasn't aiming for me either time but, if he had been aiming for me, someone should award him one thousand disgusting points for being able to hit me on the back of my neck with two boogies. Aw heck! I will give him the points...your in the lead according to my count, Parr! :)

Don't Smoke Kids!

So the other day I thought i had an ear infection but it went away the next day. A friend of mine suggested i go out and buy an ear candle to clean it out just because it does a great job. So i went and bought one for each of my ears. Now they didn't come with instructions but i heard you were supposed to light them on fire and stick the not burning end in your ear. As we lit the fire i thought to myself, "I wonder who was the first person who said, 'hey lets stick this flaming rolled up wax paper in our ears and see if it cleans out the ear wax!'"



As it burned it occurred to my roommate to read online how to do an ear candle. So he looks it up and it says you need to cut the burned out part as it goes down. so my roommate took an oven mitt and a pair of scissors and proceeds to grab the charred paper and cut it off. the first cut went well until he got it outside where it burned a whole in the mitt. Then, a few minutes later he went to take a second cut. I asked him to be careful not to burn me. He looks at me, leans in to cut and then says, "I am not going to Burn you! Fool!" Just as he finishes "Fool" i feel a large piece of flaming paper hit my neck. "Whoops," he says. :) Can you see the red mark where i got burned?


The candles worked very well and i could hear much better. It was kinda gross to look inside...i probably wont do that again though...at least not for 6 months. That is how often the website told me to use them. :)

The Mexican Surprise

I woke up a little late this morning, left my room, rubbed my groggy eyes, and found that my roommate Andrew had felt ambitious enough to get down on his hands and knees in the bathroom to fix the rubber cove base that had come unglued from the tub. His butt was sticking out at me and so i thought it would be hilarious to point at him and say, "Hey sexy man!" Just as the words left my mouth a 40 year old Latino maintenance man craned his head around and asked "Que!?" Only then did it occur to me that Andrew would never be on his hands and knees on the bathroom floor to fix a stupid piece of rubber that had come unglued from the tub. I totally sexually harassed the maintenance guy. That is embarrassing. :)

Last night with Ben

My friends are leaving me here and soon i will be all alone. Josh left last weekend and Ben is leaving this weekend. Andrew leaves next week. what a sad time for me. Ben and i recorded this song tonight. Ben learned it on the banjo (a previously untouched instrument for him earlier today) and this song has been a favorite of mine for a while... Ok i can't get the stupid video function to work on blogger so i am just going to write about how sad I am that my friends are gone. It is hard because i know I wont get to see them for a long time. It is really good though because each of us are moving on to better things. I have been very inspired by my roommates and those around me to do more good things than I would have done on my own. I don't know how I could ever begin to repay them...although if they read this i bet they will ask for money as a start in repayment. :)

Pinchy? Are you in there little buddy?

So today i for lunch we went to Jumbo Buffet. This is primarily a Chinese buffet but they have several other types of food there as well. Every time i go i am surprised at the selection. This time i went in and for some rice and was startled by 100 little eyes staring out at me from the pan next to the rice. I was psyched out by it so badly that i was afraid to take one for fear that it was still alive. My uncle eased my fears and eventually talked me into trying one. I was hesitant still and as i pulled the tail off to get the tiny morsel of meat i decided that i don't mind eating any animal that doesn't look at me as i eat it.

ps...it tasted like crab...

Stolen gifts

Today i was reminiscing about my childhood. I thought about the time when i was 7 and a family friend of ours had scolded me sharply because i was pressing his ear and making his hearing-aid beep loudly. The blood rushed to my head as i got angry with him for not dealing with a curious child more kindly. I was such a sensitive little kid. I remember being so hurt by it. I decided to call my mom and talk about it with her because i thought it was kinda funny and i knew she would get a kick out of remembering this grumpy old man.
After i told her my story and we laughed about it she told me a story that was even better. We had him and his wife over for dinner one night around Christmastime. A few days later they gave my mom a Christmas present. My mom opened it and found that it was a little book that her sister had made for her. He had stolen the booklet and written in it and given it to my mom for Christmas. You would think that if he was going to be cheap he could have at least re-gifted a fruit cake or something... Come to think of it... I am not sure why we even liked those people...