Is it Breezy in Here or is it Just Me?

In the last 3 months I have split 3 pairs of pants/shorts in the butt area. We are not talking little tears or holes we are talking split wide open. I guess you don't realize how big you really get back there until it becomes painfully obvious.

I am reminded of the movie Spaceballs. there is a scene where President Skroob gets beamed into the war room but they messed up and got his head on backwards in the unscrambler. He looks down and exclaims, "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME MY BUTT WAS SO BIG!?! President Skroob was not loved by the people on his ship. They didn't even save him an escape pod in the end. All that he really wanted was someone to care enough about him to tell him when something was off in his life...also I think he wanted Druidia's air...

So if you really love me you will let me know when my butt is getting huge and that way I wont be surprised when my pants tear wide open. Incidentally, After my shorts split in the morning at work and I had worked all day with a gaping hole I decided it keeps you a whole lot cooler than when there are no holes. Bonus!!

The Wave of the Future

My friend Joseph always tried to convince me that Mini-Disc was the wave of the future. I don't like being the guy that always says, "I told you so" but I really did "tell him so." At one point I tried to convince him that he should lose the Mini-Discs in favor of MP3s. At the time these were both burgeoning technologies and who could have known MP3s were going to win out...ok I did... It's like the time i was in Germany and they had just released the Euro and I thought to myself "gee, I could buy 4 Euro's for a dollar. I bet those are going to just go up in value," then did nothing about it. I would have really scored big. I really should just go with my gut more often. My uncle was telling me that the government is going to destroy the dollar by introducing a pan-North American currency called the "Amero." He usually follows it with talk of how we are building a super-highway that will allow Mexican truck drivers to go straight to Canada. I don't even know why that is a bad thing. In fact it might push our illegal alien problem off on our northern buddies. Anyways, my gut is telling me "no" on this one... I don't know where he gets these ideas. They sure are fun though. Yeah...so in conclusion, Mini-discs are like the 8-tracks of the nineties. They are fun to have but pretty useless.

Prune Fingers

I love swimming. Unfortunately, swimming and hot tubbing come with a very unfortunate side-affect. Why do fingers prune? Am I the only one who thinks it becomes terribly uncomfortable to touch things with fingers that are pruned up. They become so sensitive that when I sit in the hot tub I put my whole body in and hold my hands in the air to keep them dry. I look silly and people tease me but i will have the last laugh when they go to touch stuff and their hands are super sensitive! I wish there was some kind of magical remedy for pruniness because I am sure I could make a lot of money marketing that.
Speaking of weird things that I hate...I think I am also the only one who hates it when different food items touch each other on my plate. Some things are OK, like gravy on my mashed potatoes. But really, if I wanted corn in my mashed potatoes I would have mixed them in at the start. The one thing I dislike the most is syrup on my eggs. It probably tastes delicious but because it is so foreign to me I hate it. Also I like to eat one thing at a time until it is all gone...phew! I am glad I got that off my chest. I feel much better now.

Verse 1

Today in church we had a musical testimony meeting. This is where the congregation is allowed to come up and talk for a minute about their favorite hymn and then we all sing a verse or two from it. After a few songs a young lady got up and introduced her favorite song and many people before her had picked random verses to sing since sometimes the first verse wasn't their favorite. Unfortunately, I stopped paying attention when this particular young woman mentioned her favorite verse. "No big deal," I told myself, "I will just ask my friend Molly who is sitting next to me and is so good to me." I turned to molly and whispered into her ear, "which verse?" She looked at me with a smile and said "Verse one." In most songs you know in the first line which verse you are singing but in this particular song all the verses started off the same. So I started the song with confidence and held my head up high as I sang past the first line into the heart of the verse singing the words to verse one. Unfortunately I had been tricked. We really were supposed to sing verse three. I immediately hear giggles from my friends sitting with me and I looked over at Molly. She still had the same smile on her face as when she told me which verse to sing. Also I noticed she didn't sing the wrong words. She told me the wrong verse on purpose. I quickly shifted my focus from verse one to verse three and finished the song. Molly, if you are reading this, revenge is sweet. ;)